perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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