I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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