So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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