I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
