white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
