He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
