I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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