p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
