I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
