Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
