why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
