the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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