can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
