After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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