What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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