I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
