I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
