Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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