So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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