Nicole vs. Life
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
