There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We are two peas in an std pod
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
