We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
