i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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