My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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