i think my mom watched the whole time
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
