he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
