Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
