Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
