Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
