I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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