Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
