My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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