I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
