i can't believe i had my finger in that
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
