i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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