I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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