The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
