im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
