Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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