how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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