this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
