Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
