All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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