I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
