i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
