So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
There are leaves in my underwear?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
