belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
