I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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