Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
