One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
