You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
