When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
