I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
