I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
