You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
