is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
