And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize