i was rollin on her like bob the builder
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
