I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
