I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
