i just wanna soil my oats bro
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I AM VODKA MAN
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
