how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
