It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize