Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
this is an emotional support booty call
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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