The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
