ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
