Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
