yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize