He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
