I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
